If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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