Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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