I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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