if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
