He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
