Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
MIDGETS
????
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
