i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
