Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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