Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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