It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
