he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
