When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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