Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Randomize
