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• (478): View more from Georgia

  This is not my ceiling

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...

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• (408): View more from California

  Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk

  (813): View more from Florida

  Crosswalk actually

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.

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• (619): View more from California

  Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say

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