There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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