just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
