I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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