The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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