Just cropdusted the office
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize