He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
