do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
