If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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