I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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