Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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