I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
