I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
