she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
