I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
