We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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