Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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