I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
In America we eat man semen.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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