if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
