Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
