Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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