Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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