ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
