Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
