I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
God, I missed his penis.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
