i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
