we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize