hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize