I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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