what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
