so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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