im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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