we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
