Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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