I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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