from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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