Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
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