It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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