How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
