Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize