butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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