Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
