i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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