I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
