They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
