awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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