I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
