I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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