Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
there is glitter all over my balls
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
