I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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