So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Princesses don't give blow jobs
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
