In America we eat man semen.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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