I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize