naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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