he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
