Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
is it fun? or sober?
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