He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
