Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
