I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
