nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
