His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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