Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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